Is it, was it, can it be...what next?

Waiting, silently, holding hands, daring not to breath to deep for fear of missing something. Major corner piece...according to the oncologist I am ' A mystery woman'; the cells they removed were definitely squamous cancer, but the full scan shows no other trace.

A sort of shock disbelief settled over us, its what you want to hear, but seems unreal and I was silently shouting well either I have or have not got cancer! They have discussed me, researched me and now question me. Am I sure I don't know of any lesions, how long had I been aware of this original problem, oh and can our plastic surgeon examine you?

Feeling bit like a circus curio I sat / lay while the gentle Sikh surgeon examined my head, scalp, neck and face. With overwhelming compassion he concluded, that I was indeed a mystery. The medical assumption was that the original operation must by chance have removed the only cancer cells existing.

Such detail, such intensity & such care I felt the centre of their world & the cancer the centre of mine. They have decided to excise further tissue from around the wound site & to refer me to ENT.

Good news day, but emotionally confusing, do I need to worry, fight, relax or just go on with my everyday life. My loving husband smiled so kindly, held my hand so tight it hurt and said " Well you've always been a mystery to me"