Patient patient, that special link

 

There is a very special link between the medical staff and  cancer sufferers and the emotional bond is both ways. I asked one male nurse why he worked in this speciality his story, humbled &  silenced me.

He said, having worked in oncology, he had had a medical work related  accident which had left him part paralysed in his twenties. Wheelchair bound he was offered experimental surgery / treatment which could resolve this, but could make it worse and leave him permanently disabled. His response was to sit back, not risk it,stay safe. Then he thought of the cancer patients he had known and how much resolve & how hard they fought. His spirit lifted and he thought, how can I not try, what right do I have to just sit here, I must fight. So he had the operation, did the lengthy rehab and as he said, “look at me now, life is a gamble and you have to give yourself the best odds”.

My curiosity raised I started to watch & listen to the nurse /patient interactions, what I found made me see cancer treatment in a ‘Whole’ different way.

The following story was told to me by a cancer nurse, late one evening, during my weeks stay in hospital. She told me that she had been a MacMillan nurse in a hospice where she met a terminally ill young patient. Both of very similar age & interests, laughed a lot together and both were very proud of their hair; long and blonde.

The patient was aware that she was going to loose her beautiful hair & decided to have the long locks cut off and a clip on pony tail made. This done, as her shorter hair lessened, she could still enjoy her own, though pretend locks. The nurse simultaneously decided to have her hair cut and was bitterly disappointed with the results.

As she was attending the sick patient, the patient realised the nurse was not happy and questioned her.” It will grow back”, the nurse asserted, “not a problem*, but in her heart she felt a loss. The patient comforted her; ill but with huge empathy, she retained the care for others and knew the importance of the trivia in everyday life & that its all relative to where you are.

The nurse later moved job and received a package addressed to her and, on opening the parcel, found it contained the clip on pony tail. Apparently the dying woman  had asked her mother, to ensure that, when she died, the beautiful hair piece was sent to the nurse. She knew just how important how you feel is. What happens on the outside effects what happens on the inside.

Do you call it pride, vanity, self esteem or care? Whatever it is, it’s a vital ingredient in keeping a grasp on reality in this unreal world of chemicals and beeping machines.

So, did the nurse wear it? Yes many times and loved it. And now, does she still have it all those years on? Yes, its sits nestled lovingly in a box,in a drawer; a loving memory of a simple life affirming belief… be yourself!