Sinking Sands

Our Living well Cancer Course gives much emphasis to living in the moment & mindfulness. Hence, last weekend, when we drove to the Welsh coast, I took advantage of the beautiful weather & a receding tide to contemplate and relax. Standing on the beach, staring at the skyline & listening to the gentle distant ebb & flow of the sea, I shut my eyes and began to breathe, slow & calm as I had been taught. Live in the moment I thought, enjoy the here & now, Suddenly I discovered I was rapidly sinking in the muddy sand....says it all, yes live in the moment so long as you are not sinking in the sand beneath your feet.


We have discussed taking control of our lives and one area that intrigued me was the concept of  not  talking about cancer, choosing to close the door for a while & move on. So as it was Shrove Tuesday with Lent in sight I decided to have a Cancer Free Day; rather like a Low Carbs day in a diet plan and to choose one day each week to never mention the dreaded word or anything related to it. There's always the worry that if you try too hard and,  'don't mention the war', the subject becomes the classic, 'elephant in the room' and we can't avoid it , indeed we see it, hear it & read it, even more than usual. Psychologists relate this concept to the reticular activating system of the brain which determines how we filter incoming information and what we pay more attention to.

So it was, just as I decided  that this was the day that would be my non-cancer day, that the phone rang and it was the Specialist Nurse from the Respiratory Clinic, with news of my previous investigation & biopsy. Now at a time like this you can hardly say, " sorry I'm giving up Cancer for lent / the day", its just too important, indeed your very life might depend on it.

The news was good but it made me think that you cant always plan to follow through on good intentions, however soul worthy they might be.You need to try to change, indeed if you don't, you'll never know what you can achieve. But just discern  the important when it happens and make sure youre not on sinking sand as you contemplate your fate.

Otherwise fate itself might just take a hand: the upper hand!